How do you let your husband lead when you have a Type-A personality and like to be in control?

By Erin Jernigan

Most of us would admit that we like to be in control. As wives, we are either led by pride, feeling that we know the best way of doing something/have the best idea. Or we don't want to feel vulnerable and actually need the help or input of our husbands. This can lead us down a destructive path in marriage when we as wives try to take the reigns of leadership in our home that God ordained to be our husband's. 

"Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-24

Our husbands are called to be the leaders in our home, to provide for and protect our family. When we try to control them or take the lead, we are not allowing them to be the men God desires them to be. Our husbands will have to stand before God one day and give an account for their leadership in the home. Wives, we will not.

So what does that look like? Practically, wives, we need to show a lot of respect for our husbands. They need to know and hear from us that we have their back and we trust them.  Our husbands need to hear and see our respect for them in our words and actions. We need to allow them to make decisions and take the lead. This may mean moving forward with a decision that we don't agree with 100%. I am not suggesting for you to stand by and watch your husband make a catastrophic move for your family. Voice your opinion and then allow him to take the lead. A husband who has the respect of his wife is going to listen carefully to the words of his wife. 

For the wives whose husbands may be hesitant to take the lead out of fear of failing his family, I would suggest asking your husband to take the lead in one area of your home life. Don't overwhelm him, but give him an opportunity to lead and feel your unconditional support. Talk with him about your desire to see him lead and ask him. Allow him to ease into the leadership role that God has called him to with the respect and trust of his wife. 

For me, personally, in the moments when I need to show respect for my husband and allow him to take the lead, I have to do a lot more of James 1:19: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..."