How to Make a Life-Changing Decision

With tears rolling down my face, I said to my Lord, “Here I am. I will go wherever You lead!” The tears came at the realization that my prayer of surrender would require me to give over what I had always seen as my life’s work—the church we planted out of our home a decade and a half ago. After months of agonizing over this decision, it was done. God had clearly spoken.
 
Maybe you find yourself in a similar place, sensing the Lord’s leading but wanting to be certain. How do you confirm God’s will when making a life-changing decision?
 
The answer to that question is not a science but an art, for God’s will cannot be put in a box. But while He won’t speak the same way every time, I am also convinced God doesn’t hide His will from His children. For those who will seek His voice, He will give an answer (Proverb 3:6). So how do you seek His voice?
 
Most decisions will not need this kind of scrutiny, for God’s Word is sufficient to give us guidance on our day-to-day decisions. But a few times in life, a decision comes that requires special consideration. For those seasons, here are five questions that will help you make a life-changing decision

1. Have you prayed about this as much as you have talked about it? – With any big decision, pray. Pray consistently. Pray for weeks or months. I have found that writing my prayers in a journal helps me to see linearly what God has been saying. The temptation is to lean to heavily on your gut and conversations with others, only to miss out on the voice of the One whose opinion matters the most. I would suggest you add at least one 24-hour food fast dedicated to this decision. I prayed every day for months leading up to my own life-changing decision.

 

1. Has God confirmed His Will through His Word? – Any life-changing decision should be first confirmed in God’s Word. Of course, this means you must already be This daily devoted to spending time reading God’s Word! One way I see people manipulate this step is by choosing a section of the Bible they know will lend them to hear a certain answer, often the answer they are hoping to hear. (For example, studying Abraham when considering a location change will lead you to verses that seem to support what you want!). I suggest you trust the Lord to speak to you as you continue your current devotional plan. Not yet consistent about a daily quiet time? Now’s a great time to start!

 

1. Have several godly advisors confirmed your decision? – Again, this is an easy place to manipulate the decision-making process. For instance, you could easily choose people who will likely give you the answer you want. Or you could give your advisors only the information you think will lend them to affirm the pathway you desire. I suggest you seek out people who love you dearly and know you deeply. I also suggest you ask advisors who have nothing to lose or gain from your decision. For instance, I asked godly advisors outside of my beloved church family, who I knew would not be swayed by personal attachment. Finally, and this should likely go without saying, chose godly men and women to give you advice.

 

1. Do loved ones who are required to go with you confirm this decision? – If you are married, then you are one with your spouse. Therefore, if God is calling you, then He is also calling your spouse. Unity in your marriage over any life-changing decision is not only biblical; it is critical. Also, your spouse is your greatest assistant who will likely easily see your blind spots. So if there is a danger in your pathway, you need others to help you see them, and your spouse has a viewpoint you need to trust. My wife, Tarah, supported me from the very start of this decision-making process. If your kids are past puberty, you should also involve them according to their spiritual maturity. This simple choice will ensure resentment is minimized.

 

1. Does your decision bring you into greater alignment with your calling, giftings, and passions? – Too often weariness, such as from a lack of sabbath or a healthy life/work balance, causes us to overvalue a big life change. We can easily believe the grass is greener and we would be happier doing or being something else. This kind of thinking can bring us out of alignment with our purpose and God’s call on our life. So instead answer the following questions in order to test whether the life-changing decision you’re making will lead you closer to what God has called you to do.

• Question #1 – Does this new opportunity give me a better chance to leverage God’s call on my life?
• Question #2 – Will I live in more or less of my giftings if I say “Yes” to this opportunity?
• Question #3 – Does this choice give me more or less time doing what I am most passionate about?

 
Only after a time of extended prayer, a confirming word from the Lord, the affirmation of multiple advisors, confirmation from loved ones who will be affected, and a thorough evaluation of alignment with your personal calling should you be ready to make a life-changing decision. If you can answer “Yes” to each of the 5 questions above, then you can have great confidence you are making a decision that the Lord has led you to make. It is with similar confidence that my family and I step out in obedience and accept God's call to serve the people of Los Angeles in new role as the Chief Church Planting Strategist with the North American Mission Board.