What would your advice be to a woman who desperately desires for her husband to be the spiritual leader of her home when he shows little to no interest in spiritual leadership?
By Hart Deal
I can hear the pain and concern in the desperate words of this question; you have such a strong desire for your husband to fill the role of spiritual leader in your home. The good news is that this is what Christ wants for you as well!
I believe that Psalm 37:4 speaks to you, wife: "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart."
As you focus on your relationship with Christ, He promises to give you the desires of your heart, which, in this case, is to have your husband function as a spiritual leader. I would challenge you to claim this promise in your life daily and to find someone who could pray with you as you wait expectantly for the Holy Spirit to bring this to pass in the life of your husband.
This Scripture does not give a timeframe for the promise to be fulfilled. Hannah prayed faithfully to God for a child and Samuel was the answer to that prayer. Abraham and Sarah knew that God had promised to make a great nation from them, yet it was many years before Sarah became pregnant and gave birth to Isaac in their old age. You are not in control of your husband's response so, when you cannot change the situation, you must ask for God to continue to give you the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control - Gal. 5:22) as you continue to love him just the way he is, the way Christ loves us.
You cannot control your husband's role, but you can control your focus on Christ and your daily seeking to love and enjoy Him. Realize that it is possible that your husband does not really know Christ...so pray for his salvation. One of our dear friends came to Christ after a life of going to church and even teaching. He is an amazing husband and father--his wife was always praying in the background.
This is not anything that you can force. Psalm 37:5 says "Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him and HE WILL DO IT." (caps are mine) The pressure is off of you. It's up to God.
There was no mention in this question about children in this family. If there are children, talk to your husband and confirm that he is willing for you to minister to them spiritually. Read to them, pray with them and for them. Provide opportunities for them to participate in worship and training. Participate in activities that bring glory to God and always include your husband in these times. If he is not interested, take part without him but always let him know that you would love for him to join you. Speak with your husband about joining an MC group at Journey Church. If he is not interested, ask him if he is ok if you go without him.
I Peter 3:1 says, "In the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives." Be hopeful and love your husband well.
Jeremiah 29:11 gives you some great words of hope. "I know what I'm doing - I have it all planned out, plans to take care of you and not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." (from The Message)
I don't know your name, but I am praying alongside you even now for your husband. I know in my own life many times, as I have prayed for another person, I realized that it was as much about what God wanted to do in my own heart as it was about he wanted to do in the life of another. I am thanking God in advance for how He is going to work.
Church Planter. Pastor to pastors. Husband. Father. Reader.